Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Larry Katz - Our Drummer

Now... before I dive headfirst into this next post, I need to first outline something very important for you. We love our drummer, Larry. Very much so. In a distant, hands-off sort of way. Therefore, this post is dedicated to him and his awesomeness.


I hate Larry. He drives me insane when it comes to super important things. I can't even begin to guess the number of emails, text messages and important questions that have been directed to him that go unanswered. What happens when you corner him and encourage him to play along with everyone else? He usually makes a joke about your sexual preference, length of your hair and/or your reproductive organs and their various locations around your body.


An example of a conversation...
Me: Larry, did you see that final artwork I sent you for that really neat thing we are making?
Larry: Why are you always yelling at me? You must have a vagina.
Me: No, I just need to make sure you're okay with it... I'd hate to print this and have you hate it.
Larry: Yeah, yeah, boobs boobs boobs, you love men.

This is a daily conversation that goes on with this guy. No, really - I can't even begin to make this stuff up. I'm pretty sure he's fucking insane. Once in a while, I'll get a phone call from him, usually between 10:30pm and 12:30am, where he almost has a lucid moment where he stops calling me a homosexual and has important things to tell me. It's almost like there is a daily 2 hour window where Larry's little hamster in his brain stops playing videogames and watching porn to run in the wheel for a little bit.

Shut up, Tim. I'm BUSY!

We've found measures to counteract his actions and words, some to no avail and some have been successful. For example, when we send emails, we can no longer write big, huge wall-of-text emails. We've found out that Larry is either lazy or has the attention span (and possibly reading level) of a 2nd grader. The following email, though edited down, is an actual email sent to the band from me.

From Tim
To: Everyone

Subject: 2012

Hey guys,
Just an update of our plans for this year.
(LARRY - Scroll to the bottom for the edited version.)

[Contents of email]


Larry - Here are the points I made for you to ignore;
2012 > 2011.
Practicing in town once a month.
More shows. Better shows. Cool stage stuff.
Weekend Touring?
Recording new songs - new album this year.
We need more merch.
Physical Marketing ideas.
You're gay.
That's what all of that up there said.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why Larry drives me (and the rest of the band) freaking nuts. Why, you may ask, would it drive us crazy when he will obviously get the same basic information from reading that blurb?

Here is the follow up email he sent me... 2 weeks later.

From: Larry
To: Tim

Yeah yeah whatever,
Eat a dick,
God damnit.

What it has basically come down to is his wonderful wife for sitting down and taking the time out of her days to read all of our emails for him, to remind him about shows, important dates, what time practice is (It's 10. 10:00PM every single Thursday. Why do you need a reminder!?), when he needs to be at the shows... He's nuts. When she doesn't join him for shows, music video shoots, photoshoots, etc... he is late! Hell, we even had to secretly move the practice time! We told him it was at 9:30 for about a month before he realized it was really at 10. Shit, he at least showed up on time for that month!

Do you see what's missing from this kit? A drummer!

Now, honestly, Larry pulls his own weight around the band. He's building us an amazing website, he's helped pitch in to cover costs when the rest of us were broke as hell, he's givin everyone "the talk" before and he's honestly a very good drummer. He did HOLYSHITZOMBIES in ONE FUCKING TAKE. He's the perfect fit for AHTCK and we are super glad to have him. We really do love Larry with all of our distant, hands-off sort of way hearts. This leads us to one very important question (and contest)...

Who wants to guess on how long it will take him to read an entire blog post about himself?

Whoever guesses correctly wins a free copy of The Break Out EP - Zombie Edition!

(available on iTunes...

Thanks to LARRY for this blog post idea!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Sunrise after the Sunset Massacre

Anyone who has talked to any member of this band during the last few years knows one thing - we don't like to play Sunset Blvd and all the silly little clubs lined up & down the strip. It might be a little snotty, but we take pride in the comment made by, claiming we were "a big cut above the pay-for-play musical poodles of Sunset Boulevard..."
That comment was constantly rolling back and forth through my head as we loaded our gear on to the world famous Whiskey A Go-Go stage on Sunset Blvd last week. It was 10:00pm on a Sunday, there were a few people in the club and I was having a cigarette before hoppin' on stage to bring the rock... The security guard was watching a few handfuls of people coming from the Viper Room, Key Club, etc. and would stop each of them and say; "Hey, I know it's Sunday, you're probably headed home, but we got one more band going on and they're really cool - want to come in and watch 'em? Maybe have a beer?" It was a strange sight to see on the un-famous Sunset Blvd... let alone the Whiskey. The guard stamped their hands and let in (for FREE), each small group of friends eager to catch a few new tunes before making the trek back to their overpriced studio apartments. Cool, right?

Now, I'm not naive. I completely understand that this guy couldn't have given less of a shit about us. It's just to get a few more people inside and selling a few more beers. Luckily for us, we ended up with just a few more people standing around than we would've had before.

Now, a quick side note; I love my friends. I love my friends and family and the people who support us 100%. That being said, I don't give a hoot how many people were there or not - we had a few of our very good and very close friends come out and support us and that's all I cared about. The amount of people who come to see us play in Hollywood on a Sunday at 10:00pm will never be important.

Now, here is the interesting part - About 5 years back when I WAS running up and down Sunset Blvd, hitting every single club thinking that a record deal would pop out from underneath the next bar stool, I quickly came to understand how the Sunset Strip works. There are no record executive reps sitting around frantically seeking a new band to give piles of cash to. There are no club managers just waiting for that next band that will play every Friday night for piles of cash. There are no more good reasons to play on Sunset anymore, until you don't have any issues selling a ton of tickets and getting heads through the door to drink that beer.

But now... The wind is slightly starting to change. Over the last few years I've noticed a LOT of bands refusing to play the strip. Some of them couldn't afford it, while others, kind of like us, refused to play because we didn't want to fork over a bunch of money just to have our gear kicked onto the curb at the end of the show. Where is the fun in that?

But then we got this little offer... play a show on a Sunday night for $10 tickets... gotta sell 20 of them. We figured; we each have 4 friends. That's simple enough. Plus, we have only played locally for the last 6 months... Might as well hit another show, right? Right. So we ponied up, sold every last ticket and got a couple people to drive out last minute.

I had a good time. It wasn't as stressful as playing at home where people tend to show up, it wasn't a huge rush to play and leave since we were the last band and... oh... wait...

No, you're right.

They still throw your shit on the curb when you're done. Wanna stay and have a beer? Not tonight, kids.

Maybe we'll hit up the House of Blues next time!